It’s that time of year, everyone! The time where I post a random blog post about lessons I’m reluctantly trying to force myself to learn. So, here it goes….I hope everyone out there can relate.

I’ve told this story before, but it’s worth a revisit. I needed to revisit it…..

When I was living in South Africa, I went on a game drive with some friends I had made there. We were out admiring all the wildlife, and when we came to the ostrich, the driver told us what it’s like to ride an ostrich. Apparently, you get on and just hold on for dear life. What a funny thought, right? My friend then said, “Every time I see an ostrich, I think of that Bible passage in Job.”

“The wings of the ostrich flap joyfully,
though they cannot compare
with the wings and feathers of the stork.
She lays her eggs on the ground
and lets them warm in the sand,
unmindful that a foot may crush them,
that some wild animal may trample them.
She treats her young harshly, as if they were not hers;
she cares not that her labor was in vain,
for God did not endow her with wisdom
or give her a share of good sense.
Yet when she spreads her feathers to run,
she laughs at horse and rider.”

I looked at those big, ugly, dumb birds, and suddenly the thought of riding them wasn’t so funny. It seemed awesome. Riding an ostrich might be on my bucket list now. Those birds can run. They suck at pretty much everything else, but they were born to run.

I took Jolie to the zoo a week ago and there was that ostrich up close just sort of just staring at us. I’ve been thinking about that dang, ugly bird ever since. Silly, right? Here comes the lesson part…

I legitimately can’t remember the last time I sat on my couch. Most nights I don’t have the opportunity to even think about sitting down until like 9pm, and that’s only if I choose to ignore the piles of laundry I’ve been consistently ignoring for a week already. 2 hours of commute a day, and consistent 30 minute long temper tantrum stand offs with my toddler have me in the weeds, and I’m struggling to find a way out. I actually cried over a road closure yesterday. Actual. Tears. EVERY road that I take to and from the babysitters and to and from work is closed, and then yesterday my detour was closed, too. Instant tears, because 10 extra minutes is like gold… travel across the country in your horse and buggy amounts of gold.

I have high standards for myself. I have a career that I love. It’s important to me. I HAVE to have a clean house. I just do. I HAVE to get to the gym on a regular basis. It’s a non comprisable for me. Screw being skinny and fit…It’s just about sanity at this point. It’s important to me to provide healthy meals for my daughter. It’s important that I spend time with her and interact with her. Not to mention sleep…trust me…NO ONE wants me to compromise on sleep. I’m somehow managing to do it all, except just not very well. Every single one of my “non comprisable” things is suffering because there just isn’t enough time in the day. I’m tired and constantly feel like I’m failing.

I had a moment the other night when I got into bed without ever sitting down for the like the billionth night in a row and though, “Holy shit, I think this is just parenting. I think this might be just how it is. You just don’t ever sit down.”

I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, but I’m really just an ostrich. As desperately as I want to be that girl who bakes and brings you cookies because you had a bad day…I’m not. When the hell do you guys find time to bake, anyway?!?! And how are you good at it? I can’t think of a single time my cookies ever turned out like my grandmas. Why can’t I ever remember to send “Thank You” cards?!?! I should be a Thank You card person. As much as I wish I was making Jolie a homemade Halloween costume…My mom bought it for me, because I don’t even know when I would have time to go out and buy one…let alone make it!!! Do you see all these grammatical errors?! I desperately wish I could commit the proper ways to use commas to memory, but I can’t. I won’t.

I’m just an ostrich. It feels like I suck at everything, but like the ostrich, I have that one thing and damn it… it’s enough. I’m enough.

I’m in the weeds, and the weeds are my new home. I think I’m done feeling like I’m failing. What a waste of precious brain space?! If we have clean underwear…I’m winning. Peanut butter sandwiches and frozen broccoli once a week is TOTALLY acceptable. My toddler eats broccoli…I’m winning. Cookies are bad for you. Thank God I suck at making them…winning. I usually only have like 30 minutes at the gym and at least 10 minutes of it I get caught talking to someone, but I went….winning.

Why did we all start believing we have to be good at everything anyway? That’s dumb. I’m an ostrich.

Occasionally, I throw out a personal post. I always a get a super positive response when I get all emotional and pour my heart out. Why not give the people what they want, right? I’m having an emotional past few weeks. It’s bound to pour out anyway. So, here we go…

I’ve been thinking long and hard lately about slowing down. Some days it feels like everything I do is just going through the motions, and at the end of the day, I can hardly think of a single moment where I felt full. Full of life, or hope, or compassion, or really anything. I’ve allowed myself to get so busy with life that I’ve stopped living.

My new favorite place in the world is the steam room at the gym. I  work out and then spend 10 or 15 minutes just sitting in there. After my initial 60 seconds of thinking about how the place has to be just crawling with all sorts of nastiness, I shut my mind down. I think about the sweat rolling down my skin, the warmth on my face, the thick air going into my lungs. I become more in-tune to my body and the little aches and pains. I correct my posture, because it turns out sitting up straight feels good. For 10 minutes I sit completely present. I don’t let myself think about anything other than siting in that room, in that moment.

It’s a practice I’m really trying to carry into the rest of my life. It’s easy in the steam room when stimulus is at a minimum. Scratch that, it’s not even easy in there. It takes focus and intention. Day to day life it’s even harder, though. Maybe nothing is more important than my time in that steam room. It’s there that I’m learning and teaching myself not to miss out on moments like these.

It’s so easy to let my mind run wild. It’s easy to worry about what I’ll make for dinner, if Jolie will sleep well tonight, if I should grocery shop today or tomorrow, if my family’s health will last, if I’m a good mom, if I’m a good person, if I’m even getting this life thing right at all.

It’s when I miss soaking in every kiss she gives me that I know I’m missing the whole point of living.

When I don’t soak in a good view, I’m missing it.

When I don’t get outside and enjoy nature, I’m missing it.

When I drink my coffee on the run instead of sitting down to really enjoy it, I’m missing it.

When I’m not quiet enough to really listen to other people, I’m missing it.

When I’m not taking time to do the things I love, I’m missing it.

When I let anxiety and fears of the future keep me from pursuing my dreams, I’m missing it.

When I don’t take time to notice and all the beautifully ordinary things happening around me..I’m missing it.

I’m heading into the most important phase of my life. I’m raising the next generation of adults. It’s so crucial that I slow down, that I take time to be filled… Filled with happiness and joy, compassion and understanding, acceptance and tolerance, love for nature. If I’m not taking the time to be filled with these things, I have nothing to pass on to Jolie.

It’s time to slow down. It’s time to take a walk, read a good book, have good conversations with friends, spend time with family, pay attention to the food I’m putting into my body and care for it.

It’s time to be present.

It’s time to watch that little girl’s face light up and discover what this life is really all about right along with her.

Ok kiddos, I mentioned this a few days ago, but gray and cool tones are on their way out and beige and warm neutrals are making their way into the hearts of designers everywhere! We’v been doing the grays and cool tones for a while now, and don’t get me wrong, they can be lovely. If more a modern vibe is your thing than grays and cool tones may still be the way to go, but I think we are going to start seeing more and more warm neutrals.

My house has been going this direction for a long time. I’ve always loved an earthy vibe, but I’m craving a bit more warm tones.

Here’s how you accomplish this style!

A warm rug. This rug is to die for. We used it in a client’s house once, and I just wanted to lay down, profess my love to it, and never get up.

Natural elements and texture. These pots add a warm and earthy vibe.

Designers seem to be turning to photography more and more for art. Personally, I love it! Nature always makes the best subject.

And when you don’t do photography, warm tones in art are the way to go.

Pillows are the easiest way to add warmth. Warm pillows mixed with some neutrals are the way to go.

It’s always smart to add lots of different textures and materials. Wood and baskets are a must.

Who doesn’t love leather?! It’s the perfect addition to this look.

And you should also add something old or antique.

Keep the walls and major furniture light and neutral and you have yourself a warm and earthy space!

I’m sleep deprived, but I’m feeling ready to conquer this week! (It’s totally the coffee) Let’s hope it lasts, but I’ve got an extra pep in my step, and I’m ready to go! So, why not add a little blogging to the mix with some things I’m really digging lately.

I’ve been on a mission to accessorize more. I have to give a shout out to my boss who is always accessorizing with the cutest jewelry. I’m trying to keep up! Truth be told, I’m usually too lazy to throw on a necklace and earrings…Sad but true. I’m working on it though!

I’m loving delicate chokers right now.

This one from Pacsun is LOVE!

I seriously never thought I would say this, but I’m digging warm tones in interiors. I’m such a fan of blue, but lately I’m craving a little red in my life.

http://thedesignfiles.net/2016/06/helen-gory/

Never did blush built-ins look so lovely. I think we’ve ridden out the gray to the end, my friends. Gray is out and warm neutrals are in! I am 100% in love!

I don’t know what it is about September that just makes you feel done with summer clothes. I’m ready for sleeves, but let’s be honest….it’s still freaking hot out! I’m loving open back shirts for this transition of seasons. It’s just so cute!

I’m OBSESSED with nude nails, and I feel like I’m forever trying to find the PERFECT nude color.

We’ve used a couple of Bird of Paradise plants in a few projects at work lately, and I’ve been dying to try one out in my house!

I’ve been in love with loose fitting and flowing tops lately. I have this one from Urban Outfitters and I LOVE it!

Or really anything with a boho vibe.

And there it is. All the things I’m digging lately.

Hey, Hey, Hey, everybody! Ive missed you! I’ve got a little “Must Haves” post for you today. These are things that I just absolutely couldn’t live without. It’s about to get real 1st world shallow up in here! I truly could live without every single one of these things, but trust me….I don’t want to…AT ALL!

First up…My Nespresso and milk frother.

I’ve had this bad boy since my birthday in March, and we’ve slowly settled into a FOREVER relationship. Let me tell you… This thing has taken my mornings from “UHHHGGGG WHY?!?!” to “Coffee?!! OK! Let’s do this thing!” I seriously look forward to my morning cup of Joe every single day! It’s like having Starbucks on my counter. The milk frother is a total must, too! I really truly don’t know how I ever lived without this thing .

So, I’ve been on a high fat, low carb diet for close to 3 months now, and let me tell you…I have NEVER felt better! Maybe I’ll go into more detail about this on a post later, but let’s just say my energy levels are insanely different. I barely recognize myself! Coconut oil is key in this diet. I use it every morning in my coffee. I cook with it. Sometimes I consider drinking it! Just kidding…kinda. I couldn’t live without this stuff.

Along with the diet theme, apple cider vinegar is my new fav “treat!” I know that sounds weird, but I mean it! I LOVE vinegar! Every evening I’ve been mixing a little bit of apple cider vinegar into a big glass of water with a little lemon and stevia. It’s seriously yummy and I look forward to it every single night. ACV apparently has all sorts of health benefits and it’s making me drink more water, so double plus!

I’ve also been hitting the gym hard lately. Or at least trying! It’s always been a struggle for me to spend money on sports bras. I’ll buy yoga pants all day long, but sports bras….What a waste, right?! Well not anymore! I cannot live without a pretty sports bra these days! Forever 21 has changed my life with their super inexpensive (and oh so pretty) sports bras! We’re talking like $14! I do have one Lululemon sports bra, and yes, it provides more support and will probably last longer, but besides the drastic price difference, they really aren’t that different!

Ok, this stuff has changed my life, people! I’ve been oil cleansing with hemp seed oil for almost 3 months and I will NEVER go back to a cleanser. NEVER. PERIOD. My face has never felt or looked better. I’m 100% sure that diet plays the biggest role in this, but I LOVE oil cleansing. I’ve added a few drops of lavender and frankincense essential oils to my hemp seed oil, as well. Every morning and night, I massage this into my face and then wipe it away with a warm washcloth. It takes off all my makeup and leaves my face feeling soooooo fresh but also moisturized. I CANNOT live without this now. No way.

Let me tell you how bad I wish I could hit up a nail salon every other week. I REALLY wish, but I just don’t see it as a possibility for me. With the hubby MIA, I just can’t see finding a babysitter every other week so I can get my nails “did” as a possibility. Someday girls….Someday. For now… I can’t live without my home gel nail polish. Painted nails is a must for me, but I cannot deal with chips! I get my gel polish out about every other week and give myself fresh polish!

This Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector is new to my makeup routine, but I’m in love! It’s pricey, but I’m obsessed with the glow it gives my skin! Sometimes I use it all over and sometimes I use it more as a highlighter. I absolutely LOVE it! I had been using the Becca Shimer Powder, but now that I’ve cleaned up my diet my face isn’t nearly as oily and I wanted to try the cream version instead. LOVE! It’s love I tell you!

Shout out to my perfect browed friend, Leah, on this next one. I could not take my eyes off her oh-so-perfect eyebrows one day, and she was kind enough to share her secret. This Anastasia Beverly Hill Dipbrow Pomade is the bomb diggity…Like seriously! It took my brow game to a whole new level! I’ve tried tons of products and none of them even come close to this stuff. It stays completely put through even the sweatiest of workouts. This number 7 brush is a total must too! Precision is key and this brush is perfect for fine fine fine lines. This will forever be my go to brow product! I use the Taupe color on a daily basis and the Soft brown when I’m feeling in the mood for something a little more drastic.

My obsession with this candle runs deep. REAL deep. I hate that I’m so in love because it’s expensive, but OMG I can’t live without it. When I burn it is fills the entire house with the BEST smell in the world! Even when it’s not burning, I can smell it every time I walk by. I buy these things in mass quantities. I’m obsessed!

Last, but not least…. Blonde hair…Where have you been all my life?!? Now that I’m a blondie, I can’t imagine going back. Shout out to my amazing hair ARTIST, (truly, she’s an artist) Andrea Whisman.  I LOVE my salon days with her. Even though the blonde is maintenance, my salon days are the best escape! I couldn’t live without it!

Ok kids. That’s it. Toodles!

Guys, It’s been forever again! Do you get sick of me saying that all the time? You should be by now. I’ve been so busy with work and putting in way more hours than I had in the past. It’s a nice change of pace, but It’s taking some getting used to. My house got seriously messy there for a minute! There’s no real news around here, lately. Same old, same old. It’s actually kind of nice. I’ve really craved routine, and I’ve finally got it. Since there’s nothing new going on, I though I would update you on my current wish list! You would think that spending $5,000 of someone else’s money in the past week would sort of satisfy your shopping needs, but it totally doesn’t. It makes it worse, and makes me realize how much I want for my house. It’s silly, but it’s how it goes.

First up.

This rug is less of a “wish list” item and more of a “I totally bought it” item… Oops. I haven’t gotten it yet, but it’s on it’s way. Our bathroom rug bit the dust in the washer so I’ve been looking to replace it. Our previous rug was similar but with reds. With the blue walls and the white vanity, it kind of had me singing the Star Spangled Banner most mornings. I decided I wanted to try a more monochromatic look, ’cause that’s my thing…

This past week I went to Z Gallerie for the very first time. I really don’t know how that is, but I had never been. Most of their stuff is a bit too glitzy for my taste, but I did fall in love with quite a few things there.

I really don’t know why but this little shot glass set had me at “Hello!” I almost NEVER entertain, but for some reason when I saw this I wanted to invite all my imaginary friends over for shots! Haha! Sometimes I feel like if I have all the nicknacks for really great entertaining, I’ll be more likely to actually want to entertain. It’s probably not going to work, but oh well.

Wine glasses have always been a conundrum for me. I really prefer drinking out of the proper type of wine glass, but I also HATE having a ton of stuff. Please, tell me where I’m supposed to put all these “proper” wine glasses?!? When I saw these, also from Z Gallerie it was like a dream come true. Combo red and white wine glasses?! They’re so perfect. I most likely will be buying these.

This is a strange thing coming out of my mouth, because I hated it for so long, but I’ve turned into a bit of a whiskey sipper. So, now I need fancy rocks glasses! I love how quirky these are.

Ok peeps…this is serious knowledge I’m about to drop… Z Gallerie has the NICEST and most reasonably priced faux stems I have seen anywhere. These are like Target prices but SOOOOOO much nicer and more realistic. I’m 100% going back to pick of some of these for myself. Also, some of these:

I LOVE fiddle leaf trees so hard, but I know there’s no way in hell I could keep one alive. These stems are so nice looking and I won’t ever kill them! Just FYI in the store you can buy individual stems instead of a pack like what they offer online.

These are also on my “bought it but haven’t received it yet” list. I never in a million years thought I would buy high top Chucks. I wear my low top ones all the time, though. So, it was time to take the plunge.

I’ve always hated myself in hats, but I have always wanted to wear them. I’ve finally decided that maybe I’m just being too hard on myself and it doesn’t make my head look as flat as what i’m seeing. Life is short, I want to wear hats. It would be cool if it was a sports team hat, but let’s be honest, I’ve not watched a single minute of any sporting event in the last 4 years. So, a White Sox hat is only going to make me look stupid, but a plain baseball hat might make me look as sporty as I wish I was.

I want all of it. Literally, everything about these two white, black, and leather rooms feel like everything I am in life! Or at least I wish my living room looked that sophisticated, laid  back, and well traveled.

I’m still totally working on convincing myself that I’m not too Plain Jane to rock a choker necklace, but I do think I want one. Just in case I get brave enough to wear it to Walgreen’s one time, and if people don’t really seem to notice it too much than I’ll wear it again. Baby steps.

Two of these pillows have been sitting in my Etsy shopping cart for weeks! I want them so bad! I will forever and always be completely in love with indigo. I will also always and forever struggle with spending $62 on a pillow, but I’m probably going to have to do it. I love it too much not to!

I’ve really wanted to start switching out some of my vases for some vases and pots that feel more like art. These from Crate and Barrel are SO beautiful!

Well I think that’s about it for now. That’s plenty of things to want!

I love designing and decorating for other people…I really do. However, I HATE picking out art for other people. Art is so incredibly subjective. People seem to never really know what they want, but they always know what they don’t want. Honestly… it’s just a pain in the rear. Picking out art for myself, on the other hand, IS AMAZING!!! I’ve decided, after a good two years of talking about it, to splurge a little and get something for our bedroom. Our bedroom is fairly neutral, so really I’m just going to pick out pieces that I love and go from there. So… Here they are!

I’m obsessed with water. The ocean, lakes, rivers, mud puddles. Give me a body of water, and I’ll feel more alive than ever. I SERIOUSLY want to wake up to this every day

I’m probably not going to put a horse in my bedroom, but I LOVE this for an entry or hallway. To me, there’s seriously no creature more magical than a horse.

I’m super into this guy…not sure why. I generally like anything with a watercolor look. This is so lovely!

I don’t know just something about this one!

Again with the water color tie dye look.

Blue addiction.

Not for my bedroom but I can’t help but love this.

I saw this in a room I loved recently. In the right setting, I’d really love this.

Because we all had a rock collection at some point…

I’m not completely settled on any of these for the good ole bedroom yet. I wish I could have all of them! don’t they look lovely together?!

We will just see what happens!